Why Me? Why now? God must be mistaken...

I am a missionary to "at risk" youth in my community. We're in the middle of a construction project at our youth home and I'm the only staff.Recently I was counseling a very irrational and suicidal teen through a major crisis when I got swine flu...Here is my story:

“Not now, I thought. I can’t be sick...I just don’t have time...I’m needed now, it just can’t be.” No matter how much I denied or fought it the fact was I was very sick...again. I went to the doctor and he gave me medicine but said if I wasn’t getting better in 24 hours to go to the hospital. Hospitals...(sigh) I’ve seen too much of them this past year. I was stubborn but my cough and fever only got worse. I was coughing till I threw up or got so short of breath I was dizzy. It was Trick-or-Treat night and I wanted to be giving out candy but couldn’t handle the cold air outside so I watched from the window as my daughter gave out candy. I was coughing again and everything went black. When I awoke I realized I’d blacked out and called my wife to go to take me to the ER.
The ER was full of people young and old coughing under masks they handed out. Swine Flu had hit our area hard. After being in triage I got up to walk to my bed and blacked out again and hit the floor hard. They put me in bed and after tests started me on breathing treatments which helped me get enough air. I had chills and shivers and was pretty miserable. I was also very worried for a teenager who had been struggling with suicidal thoughts and threats. I felt like God had made some mistake, “I can’t be here now God...someone needs me!” I argued with God. I called some key prayer warriors and asked them to pray for my kid in need. I laid back and was exhausted. “God” I prayed, “there must be a purpose to me being here now. I commit (the teenager) to your care and others prayers, you have to take over. Please help me know why I am here tonight and not there.”
As I gave in to God’s peace I started to pay attention to the sounds behind the curtains that surrounded me. The boy in the next bed had swine flu to and was suffering terribly. He kept throwing up medicine and was frightened by all the needles and noises. A man walked by the foot of my bed and into the curtain with the boy next to me. I can’t explain it but I literally felt an evil presence when he walked by. His voice was loud and intimidating. It didn’t take long to overhear what was going on. The boy’s mother and he were splitting up and he came to the hospital to fight with her right then and there. He was angry about not having money for drugs. He made vile accusations and threats. She pleaded with him to stop, that her boy was so sick and this isn't a place for this but for the next three hours he would come and go by the bedside passing me each time. The children pleaded with mom not to go home to his place, their voices showed genuine fear. He would come back and spew his anger again and again.
“Why God is no one stopping him? Why doesn’t he stop for his sick boy?” Then God spoke to my heart - “You were needed here tonight, now fight for that boy and his mother.” I could hardly move with all the wires and tubes. I called out and none heard. I couldn’t get up. I prayed “God let someone hear me.” Then a doctor poked his head in behind my curtain. I told him to come closer that I needed help. He came over and I told him what was going on just a few feet away. He thanked me for reporting it and soon a counselor came to get mom away to talk, then security came to get the man. Arrangements were made for him to go somewhere else. A ride was found for the family. Other relatives in the room refused to testify saying “I don’t want to get involved”. I couldn’t believe that no one who heard him wouldn’t try and stop him. Once he was gone the kids began to cry, telling their mom how scared they were of him, how they never wanted to go home to him again. I knew I had done the right thing and in a short while they went home. God spoke to my heart again, “I know you can’t give up fighting for kids, I needed someone to fight for this one. Your sickness put you here tonight to fight for me.” I understood, I was not sorry anymore about being sick. A God who could arrange this battle could handle my other teen in need.
I was out for a week but the Door did not close. Graduates from the Door lined up to help all week, making dinner cleaning, handling it all. God was stretching them too and calling out there hearts to be givers not just receivers. My first day back we had summer like weather and put in our brick sidewalk over the next 3 days. I hadn’t even missed any warmer weather for work. God is truly in control of all things big and small.